The CoffeeBreak Revolution

PLEASE GO HERE:

2006-04-12T17:08:00.000+01:00

CoffeeBreak Revolution Studios to see some of my photography and adventures.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006-01-27T20:59:00.000Z

Welcome to 2006. This is the year in which I intend to write more posts, make more films, and take a bath.

Keep your eyes on this page... prepare to be amazed!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ..a tale of caution

2005-10-31T16:14:00.000Z

Nurse Martha Weighs Pros and Cons of Decapitation

2005-10-13T16:57:00.000+01:00

Washington, DC - Nurse Martha considers the pros and cons of using an
ancient Polish tradition of decapitation to rid her elementary school
of its hideous lice infestation.

"It really is a most effective method. However, our biggest obstacle
to overcome before we can begin is where to dispose of the
contaminated heads." stated Nurse Martha this morning.

The DC School Board is thrilled at the prospect. "Decapitation! Now
why didn't I think of that years ago? This will surely aid us in our
quest to shrink class size," exclaimed the excitable Vile McPherson,
President of the School Board.

Sally Higgins, mother of Billie, age 6, was less than pleased at Nurse
Martha's methods. "First it was amputation, now decapitation. I
understand lice is a growing problem, but surely there are more humane
ways of dealing with this situation. I've heard there is a shampoo
out there which might help kill the lice."

Upon questioning Nurse Martha on Ms Higgins suggestion, she scoffed,
"Sally Higgins. Silly Hippie is more like it! Next thing you know,
she's going to start telling me that blisters don't cause gangrene and
can heal themselves naturally!"

Principal Maurice La Tete called an emergency meeting with the staff
to discuss the Lice Infested Head Removal Program, and answer any
questions. But it seemed one question could not be resolved. No one
could decide where to put the heads.

It was La Tete who made the final decision.

"Let us have a Raffle! The winning ticket holder can make the final
choice on head disposal!!"

Ticket sales have thus far been slow, as students are reluctant to
spend their precious dollars on a raffle which might include their own
head.

Website O' Delite!

2005-09-05T19:10:00.000+01:00

stupid lamp by sam brown

Website O' Delite!

2005-09-02T17:44:00.000+01:00

Sabrina Ward Harrison
Sabrina is a talented and inspiring artist.

Planet Sark
Sark is always good for a positive energy soul-lift!

An Ode To Rambling Phone Calls

2005-09-02T16:28:00.000+01:00

I've had to bite my tongue many times today
"Skip to the end" is all I long to say
but quietly I wait for their ramblings to stop
While I daydream of monkeys and corn that will pop

Worst Horoscope Ever

2005-09-01T18:00:00.000+01:00

(as published in the Washington Post, 9/1/05)

Pisces
Someone you love dearly makes things difficult unintentionally through inopportune phone calls or scheduling events when everyone is clearly busy.

Website O' Delite!

2005-09-01T16:56:00.000+01:00

www.explodingdog.com
Sam Brown's drawings are hilarious!

Books 2 Read!

2005-09-01T14:57:00.000+01:00

Travels with Charley
by John Steinbeck

I Will Be Cleopatra
by Zoe Caldwell

Customer Uses All The Sugar, Starbucks Miffed

2005-09-01T14:36:00.000+01:00

Washington, DC - Customers looked on as Barry Milton, aged 42, methodically opened each package of sugar on the Starbucks condiment bar, and emptied them into his Venti Drip Coffee.

Mona Marple, who has been a Starbucks barista for over 3 months, said, "I've never seen anything like it. Sure add 6 or 7 packs of sugar - that's pretty standard. I mean, our coffee is STRONG. But an entire box? What are we going to do? We don't get our next shipment until Tuesday!"

The witnessing customers stood around the cafe, seemingly unable to continue on with their day. "Without sugar, it just tastes like coffee," said Virginia Rose, an employee of Legal Aid For Dummies. Another horrified customer, Will Staple of Office Max, exclaimed, "While we stood in line, he mocked my wife for ordering a triple decaf grande upside down non-fat caramel macchiato. He said 'that kind of drink is gonna kill you!' She ordered a decaf!"

As Mr. Milton exited the cafe, he tripped, and spilled his drink on the sidewalk.

Girl Under Rock Verifies Ignorance Is Bliss

2005-08-31T21:15:00.000+01:00

New York City - Anne Marie Gallagher of Astoria stated today that ignorance really is bliss. "I don't have to know everything, you know. I'm just one person."

Older sisters, Monica and Emily, severely harassed her earlier when she mentioned that she did not know the definition of "temp". A "Temp" is the slang for Temporary Assistant.

"Why do I need to know that?!" Gallagher exclaimed in defense.

Margaret Hamilton, Ms. Gallagher's front desk temp, was found crying in the woman's washroom a short while later. "I thought we had become friends," Hamilton sobbed. "I mean, I know I've only been here since 10am, but I really felt like we had a connection. But she doesn't know anything about me, does she?"

When questioned of the alleged friendship struck between Ms. Gallagher and Ms. Hamilton, Annie was quoted asking, "Who?"

Man Collapses in Shock at Temp's Lack of Knowledge

2005-08-31T20:28:00.000+01:00

Washington, DC - Miami University law professor, Dr. Smug, collapsed from shock today when a temporary receptionist did not know the answer to his question.

"I was trying to redirect his call, but he just would not accept that I could not answer his question," stated the confused temp worker, Zoe Fischnaller. "It's only my third day here, and since I'm finished this gig on Friday, I didn't see the need to be able to answer every question posed."

Fischnaller's temp agency, The-Receptionist-Is-Sick Temps, Inc., was unavailable for comment.

After examining Dr. Smug, Doctors revealed his brain imploded in three places, from the shock.

Miami Law School Admin Department stated, "I'm sorry. I'm just a temp. I don't know who Dr. Smug is, but if you hold for a moment I can see if someone is back from their lunch break to help me direct this call." As it was already 3.30pm, this reporter did not have time to wait for the return of a more established source, and had to run the story.

Nurse Amputates Liberally, DC Elementary School.

2005-08-31T17:59:00.000+01:00

Washington,DC- Nurse Martha was forced to amputate young Billie Mulligan's right leg today.

"He fell off the monkey bars at recess, and bruised his knee pretty badly. I knew it would take at least a week to heal, so I figured the best way to avoid the inevitable onset of gangrene would be to just chop it off. Plus I just got an excellent new scalpel that I wanted to try out."

Billie is the eleventh elementary school student to have a limb amputated this week by Nurse Martha. Teachers could not be more pleased.

"This has really helped me maintain control in the classroom," said Mrs. Wallis. "Whenever the kids get rowdy, I just threaten to send them to the Nurse! It works like a charm!"

Parents are also quite happy for the change. Mrs Mulligan stated, "Billie would just run around and around, wreaking havoc! Now that he has to hobble on one leg, he has calmed down considerably."

In other news, the sales of wooden legs has sky rocketed in our nation's capital, and a local band of Pirates has exceeded this term's quota for Cast-aways.

An Ode To Paper Cuts

2005-08-30T21:00:00.000+01:00

You slice me when I fold the page
You mock me when I cry in rage
You rip my fingers right in two
I think I'm not too fond of you.

books 2 read!

2005-04-09T19:07:00.000+01:00

A Walk In The Woods
by Bill Bryson

books 2 read!

2004-11-17T04:38:00.000Z

Walking To Vermont
by Christopher Wren

Quote du Tomorrow

2004-11-17T04:36:00.000Z

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.

-Louisa May Alcott

Quote Du Jour

2004-11-17T04:33:00.000Z

Nostalgia is the inner critic of the Adventure Girl.

-Zoë Fischnaller

Mother Nature Laughs

2004-08-01T23:01:00.000+01:00

PARIS- Mother Nature laughed hysterically today when Zoe Fischnaller and Janiec Van Vektan stepped off the plane for their four day jaunt to Paris, only to discover it would be raining the entire duration of their visit.

"We have been living in Dublin's rain all summer. We came to Paris for a break from wet shoes," complained Fischnaller.

Upon questioning Mother Nature, she just laughed hysterically, then ran off to check on a few hurricanes headed for the Florida coastline.

Quote Du Jour

2004-07-07T23:53:00.000+01:00

Taste is made of a thousand distastes.

-Paul Valery

Belinda the Good Witch, Questioned!

2004-07-06T15:02:00.000+01:00

DUBLIN - The Wicked Witch of the West has been missing since just after 3pm on Sunday, July 4th. Garda officials initially brushed off her disappearance as another witch lost to the drink. However, Wicked has now been gone for over 48 hours. Gardai have realized that her missing hat, which had been found floating along the Liffey, might have been caused by more than rough winds.

Belinda, the Good Witch, was Wicked's traveling companion and naturally the first suspect. "I don't know why they are bothering me. I am Wicked's only true friend!" complained the frazzled spellcaster. Belinda had been hauled into Garda Headquarters last night, and did not emerge until just this morning, rather ruffled, her pink tu-tu torn in places. "Wicked has a lot of enemies. Why don't they ask that Dorothy girl. She killed Wicked's sister!"

Dorothy of Kansas had, in fact, been tracked down for questioning. She had spent the 4th of July holiday in Tahiti scouting out locations for her new Reality TV show "If This Ain't Kansas, Where Am I?"

Garda officer, Gay Mitchell let it slip that Belinda was not the only suspect he would be questioning over the next week, though when prodded for more information, he simply smiled and offered the reporter another cup of tea.

Poem Du Jour

2004-07-04T19:57:00.000+01:00

When I carefully consider the curious habits of dogs
I am compelled to conclude
That man is the superior animal.

When I consider the curious habits of man
I confess, my friend, I am puzzled.

-Ezra Pound

Wicked Witch, Missing!

2004-07-04T19:48:00.000+01:00

DUBLIN - The Wicked Witch of the West went missing today, shortly after 3 pm, as reported by her traveling companion, Belinda the Good Witch. It seems she disappeared as the two pagan goddesses were traversing the famous Ha'Penny Bridge in City Centre.

"We had just spent a glorious afternoon in Temple Bar, and were off to explore the North side of Dublin, when a brief rainstorm hit. We made a run for it to the cover of Winding Stair Bookshop, but when I turned around, Wicked was no where to be seen. It isn't like her to run off," explained the traumatized Belinda.

Around 5pm, Wicked's hat was spotted floating on the Liffey down near the Guinness factory. However, due to the high winds, Garda do not suggest foul play and are certain she is simply off enjoying a fine pint waiting for the weather to improve.

Quote Du Jour

2004-07-02T23:25:00.000+01:00

The tulips are too excitable.

-Sylvia Plath

Students Disrupt The Edge

2004-06-30T14:01:00.000+01:00

DUBLIN - Two student filmmakers, Zoe Fischnaller and Janiec Van Vektan, were escorted out of the Irish Film Institute last night for disrupting the peace. It was reported that Fischnaller spent the entire cocktail hour entertaining Van Vektan by comparing her towering height to U2's guitarist The Edge. Fischnaller stands at a mere 5 feet 7 inches.

"You know, I really didn't understand why she kept giggling behind me. And then I realized she was making fun of my height!" exclaimed disgruntled guitarist, The Edge. "Besides, she was wearing really high heels."

Fischnaller was bare foot.

Bono's Sunglasses Surgically Implanted!

2004-06-30T13:54:00.000+01:00

DUBLIN - Last night it was confirmed that the Irish rock band, U2's lead singer, Bono, does in fact have his sunglasses surgically implanted on his head.

He was seen at the Irish Film Institute last night wearing his sunglasses throughout the entire event. Upon excusing himself to use the washroom, he ran into the wall four times, before discovering the door.

He was unavailable for comment after the premiere for he did not return to the cinema. It was believed that due to the extreme darkness of night, he had lost his way.

Quote Du Jour

2004-06-30T13:50:00.000+01:00

In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

~T.S. Eliot

Bird Feces Attacks Dubliners

2004-06-28T22:24:00.000+01:00

DUBLIN - Young women cried out in disgust as Dublin's bird population attacked with a vengeance. Excrement was their weapon. Blouses were their targets.

"I was just walking along Grafton Street when suddenly I thought I had been hit by a bullet!" explained a terrified Mary Mitchell. "And then I saw it! Bird poo! On my favorite purple cardigan!"

Authorities believe the birds are reacting to Dublin's general distaste towards their species.

"We think they may have increased their fiber intake," reported Garda Officer Patrick O'Flannery. "It happened once before in '67. People just don't care for the birds anymore, and I think they are starting to notice."

Women are not the only targets, though it is widely believed that they are attacked more frequently due to their brightly coloured jumpers.

Dubliners have recently taken to using umbrellas to avoid the bird droppings, which has also been discovered to protect from the rain.

Film Professors Baffled by Use of Movies as Reference

2004-06-28T22:12:00.000+01:00

DUBLIN - All the film professors of local universities met today to discuss a graduate student's use of film as a reference in her thesis.

"I just do not understand what film has to do with film theory," exclaimed one muddled professor who wished to remain anonymous.

"Yes," agreed Dr. Doyle, who furrowed his out-of-control brows to show his extensive contemplation on the matter.

"I've never even seen a film!" cried out Dr. O'Sullivan with caffeinated glee.

It was finally decided, after many pots of Lyons tea, that the use of film in a Masters thesis was "completely irrelevant" and "an insult to academia".

The film student in question went into shock, and has since been committed to a local insane asylum for fears that her head might explode from the hate rising within.

Presently her story is being optioned at Miramax. Harvey Weinstein hopes to begin shooting by late August.

Welcome to the CoffeeBreak Revolution!

2004-06-28T21:55:00.000+01:00

...Where revolutions can begin and resolve in the 15 minutes it takes to drink a fine cup of joe.

...Where I shall extract all my frustrations, fears, and pleasures through the fine art of press releases.

...Where films can be discussed, photography can be displayed, and hypocrisies laughed at.

Please check in as often as you choose, but due to the high prices of internet cafes, I can not promise frequent entries. Though I'm sure the demand will be high, for my Oscar Wildeian take on life in Dublin will surely capture the hearts of many.

Cheers!